I miss. I love.

 A mural in the beach town of Brighton.

Now that I've been at Holmsted for 3 weeks (already?!), I've begun to miss some things, but I've also begun to fall in love with some things:

Our football (soccer) field.

I think most of all, I miss my dogs. I miss good salads and a variety of fresh fruit. I miss yogurt, granola, and fruit for breakfast.

I love playing volleyball barefoot (in the mud). I love walking on the 17 acres of land while admiring God's creation. I love reading my Bible and journaling while sitting in the windowsill of my second story room. I love looking at the sky, especially when there aren't many clouds (so many stars and beautiful sunsets).

I miss laying on hot cement in the sun. I miss walking outside to find bearable temperatures.

Sitting and watching double-decker
buses almost run over people.

I love dressing in layers. I love wearing winter clothes. I love mittens and socks.

I miss having space and a place for all of my stuff.  I miss my laundry basket. I miss sheets on my bed. I miss walking barefoot indoors. I miss carpet.

I love cleaning my room with my roommates on Sundays. I love vacuuming the floors, walls, and ceilings of our pet spiders and other insects.

I miss my family. I miss my friends.

I love the relationships and friendships that I'm building. I love living in community and I love having 7 roommates.

I love scaring unsuspecting people. I love playing games. I love free time. I love the weekends.

I can go home satisfied now that I
have found a red phone booth.

I love different accents. I love being myself (burps and all).

I love noise. I love the quiet. I love the sound of nature. 

I love worship, I love intercession, I love lectures. 

And I love what God is doing, both with me and with my DTS as a whole.

I love and I miss. But I mostly love.

Firsts.

Hanging out in the window from my room.

Eleven days ago I embarked on a new journey of firsts. I said my first goodbyes to my parents for a long period of time. I had my first flight over the Atlantic Ocean, my first steps on European land, my first  stamp on my passport. Most of all, I had my first big step towards adulthood, towards independence. This was my first time leaving all I knew for something so foreign and so unknown to me, completely by myself. And I absolutely love it. Of course I miss everybody back home, but there are so many new and exciting things going on here at Holmsted that I barely have time to think about it.

I arrived in London on a typical English day: overcast and rainy. And as I stepped off the plane in my flip flops and t-shirt I was overwhelmed with excitement to finally have made it to this new and foreign land. After lots of sweat and walking back and forth with 2 checked and 2 carry-on bags, an hour long bus ride, and a half hour car ride on the wrong side of the road, I made it to my new home for the next 6 months! As I had a tour of Holmsted Manor the only words I could say were, "Oh my gosh . . . oh my gosh . . . oh my gosh!" I don't think I've ever been in such a beautiful home hidden with so much history on the walls, on the doors, in the bathrooms, in the 17 acres of land. I still can't believe God has chosen to take me to such a beautiful environment. I can't get enough of it. I've spent hours in one room specifically: The Leather Room. On its walls is Italian leather wallpaper. It has been said that Holmsted is one of only 3 buildings in England with it, worth about 10,000 pounds! It is pure beauty.

The Leather Room

Our days are full from the beginning to the end. We have breakfast, a time of worship or intercession, lecture, lunch, work duties (I cook dinner in the kitchen!), dinner (or tea, in England), and usually a planned activity either in the afternoon or at night. We have worship 3 days a week, one with the whole base (which I LOVE), and 2 days of intercession (again, one with the whole base). We have small groups, one-to-ones, and a local outreach on Friday nights. The days end up being really long, but very fulfilling.

When I do have free time, I usually spend it with other people in my DTS. There have been lots of conversations, lots of games (especially a super intense version of Uno), a couple nights of playing Sardines, and even a DANCE PARTY! It already feels like I've known these people for months, some people even years. For this, I'm really excited to deepen our relationships together as we go through this stage of life together. 

Overall, this first week has been AMAZING. The staff is awesome. The view is breathtaking. The house is cold, but it gives such a warm and fuzzy feeling. I love these people and I love having so many different cultures and languages together, living in one community. God's presence is so evident in this place. We can all see that He is moving, that He wants to do big things with the people here, and with our DTS. And He's already working in my life, shaping me and molding me, breaking me, and making me more like Him. 

A Bit of History

As I'm soon leaving for England to do my DTS, I thought it would be a good idea to set up a blog to update everyone back home on the goings on in my life. And what better way to start it off than with a bit of background info as to how I came to this point in my life:

Over the past years I've known of, to me, an abnormally high amount of young people leaving the comforts of everything they knew in their Camarillo bubble to do a Discipleship Training School (DTS) with the international, interdenominational, Christian organization Youth With A Mission (YWAM). I always thought to myself, "What a great opportunity for them! But that's not for me. At least not right now." You see, I had a plan. Two years of community college and then transfer to a university to study... what? I don't know. Something.

During my second year at Ventura College, however, the Lord started to reveal His plan for me. Having decided I would major in food science and nutrition, I applied to transfer to two universities: California Polytechnic State University, San Luis Obispo and University of Hawai'i, Manoa. But at that same time the Lord planted the idea of YWAM into my mind. I researched more about it, looked into some bases in Hawai'i and some other sunny settings, but I did nothing about it. I told myself that if Cal Poly and UHM didn't accept me that God wanted me to do a DTS, and I would obediently go. I had a trick up my sleeve, though--I did well in school and I was sure that I would get in to at least one, if not both, schools.

Over the months of waiting to hear about acceptance, God was growing my desire for missions. Perhaps I could use my nutrition knowledge to spread the love of God. I resolved to seriously look into doing a DTS after graduating. To me, there was no point in doing it anytime before. I couldn't imagine myself as a college dropout. And what could I do without a college degree? My pride kept me from clearly hearing God's call.

I was first accepted into Cal Poly in early February. Ecstatic, I anxiously waited to hear from Hawai'i. In the meantime, I weighed the pros and cons of each school. It soon became late March and I still had no word. The following week I was going on a weeklong trip with the high schoolers (as I'm a leader) to YWAM Las Vegas to take part in Mission Adventures, and for whatever reason, I felt like I needed to accept Cal Poly's offer without hearing from UHM. (Later, I realized I did this in my last subconscious effort to ignore God's calling for my life!)

Evangelizing on the Strip in Las Vegas

Throughout that week in Vegas, however, God transformed my heart. And knocked me hard on the head. He multiplied my love for the lost more than I'd ever had before. He gave me more desire than ever before to be completely used by God, to wholly surrender my life for His cause, to be His hands and feet. Most of all, God humbled me. He revealed to me how I had been so proud of getting an education, how I thought getting a bachelor's degree was the only way of success in this world. In this world. I was following the ways of the world. I thought I was in the will of God, but I was blinded and followed my own plans. I forgot to listen. I forgot to submit. That week I was pulled back into following God's will and submitting to his plan. My first action: giving up transferring in the fall and doing a DTS.

I went home knowing I would have to humble myself even more. I told Cal Poly I wouldn't be attending their university in the fall. The week after my return, I received my acceptance letter from UHM. That was God's little way of laughing at me, saying, "Ha! I've got you now!" And I just laughed along in agreement.

Holmsted Manor, England

So here I am. Six months later and 12 days away from going to England for my DTS! (Don't let the picture fool you, it's definitely not a hot and sunny destination like Hawai'i.) And I am so excited to be stretched, taught, and used by my glorious Creator. Also, to perfect the English accent. :)